From, Extremely Amused and Scared Characters
by Aqua Cahill
Summary: Dear Fanfiction writers, So you want to be like me eh? Well have a mad man after you, fight dragons, and have people you love die. Stick that in your juice box and suck on it! Love, Harry Stinkin' Potter
1. Chapter 1

**Alright, I am creating another story! Here Harry Potter characters write letters to people of fanfiction!  
**

Dear Fanfiction writers,

So you want to be like me eh? Fine, go have a mad man after you, deal with crazy teachers, have fights with friends, trolls, and dragons! Go stick that in your juice box and suck on it!

Love,

Harry Stinkin' Potter

**First one! Hope ya like it!**


	2. Chapter 2

**NEXT ONE!**

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

Hello? Ever heard of me? Ron Weasley? Chess master of the world? I mean Siriusly! You all make me out as an obsessed fan! I AM NOT LIKE THAT! Gees! And FYI (Yes I can say that and still be cool. Shut up Harry!) My daughter Rose, will not be marrying Scorpius Malfoy!

From an angry Weasley,

Ron Weasley


	3. Chapter 3

**YEAH!**

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

Do I really have that much of a 'Frizz Problem?' And I am not married to Harry and have a kid named Larry! Gees, what is wrong with you people! I am married happily to Ron and have two kids! Oh, but thank you some authors who do write me well!

From,

Hermione Weasley (NOT MALFOY!)


	4. Chapter 4

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

Would you care for a Lemon Drop? I must say, you sure have some creative minds, really, Jo Belle Potter? I must say… I really found some of the pairings funny, Severus/McGonagall really? Me a dark lord? I have a Phoenix for god's sake! Oh, sorry lost my temper…

Anyway, Lemon Drop? (Insert grandfather face)

Albus Percival Wulfrick Brian Dumbledore


	5. Chapter 5

**Meep! Almost to what, 5, 6 chapters? COOL!**

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

Me and that mudblood Granger! What the bloody hell are you thinking! I am married and have a boy named Scorpius! Though I appreciate how some of you call me the "Most handsomest being in the world!"

Anyway, Astoria is calling me to dinner, goodbye crazy people!  
Draco Malfoy


	6. Chapter 6

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

Why are you all pairing my Harry with other girls! HARRY IS MINE! Oh, and for all of you who make me look like an obsessed fan, watch out and keep your eyes open in your sleep.

I am not violent, I just express my feelings in punching.

FROM:

A NON-VIOLENT GINNY POTTER


	7. Chapter 7

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

I am dead get over it. Look, I know you're sad because a super awesome and a handsome man like me is dead, but please don't go crying every day. Anyway, I just about cracked up when I read some of these stories, but I am scarred for life when I read and saw some Severus/Sirius and some Sirius/Remus stories.

Scarred for life and will never be able to look at Moony in the same way,

Sirius Black (AKA: Padfoot, Twinkletoes, etc…)


	8. Chapter 8

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

Slytherins are not the evil people, people make them out to be. And excuse me! 20 Points from Griffindor for telling everyone that I look like an overgrown bat! (Whispering to Snape) Oh, really? Oh fine, you're not from Griffindor so I can't take away points from you… Anyway, just to tell you, no I am not BATMAN, or anything as stupid as that.

Detention Potter!

Severus Snape

Potions Master of Hogwarts, who somehow was able to write a letter to you even though he's dead.


	9. Chapter 9

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

I have to agree with Padfoot here. ME AND HIM? Gross… I am happily married to N-Tonks. I also have a wonderful boy named Teddy.

It might be short, but as we Marauders say,

DEAL WITH IT!

Moony out, Peace!

P.S. I just about died (Again) when I read some James/Severus and Sirius/Severus. Even in death they all hate each-others guts. (Oh, Severus hates them both, they hate Severus, I just read my letter and- I'll shut up now.)


	10. Chapter 10

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

Aye, what do ya have out for Irish people! I mean seriously! All ya think is that we drink, be in love with Quiditch (Excuse me! Every single country in Europe loves Quiditch! Not sure about the other countries thou…), and are super short and have red beards! How stereotypical is that!

Oh, if ya want to see a Leprechaun with a pot of gold, please do not come and be disappointed when you see no leprechauns.

And make some more stories for me! Wait, (Looks over at Seamus Finnegan stories) never mind, I am scarred for life…

-Seamus Finnegan


	11. Chapter 11

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

IIIIMMMMM BACKKKKKKK! Did you miss me? YEP! FRED WEASLEY IS IN THE HOUSEEEEEE! To celebrate, let's have these mysterious creams… Hah! I can't believe you fell for that! Enjoy being a canary! Don't worry, it only lasts for 5 minutes.

I enjoy annoying people in the afterlife, can't wait to see my family,

Tell Georgie I said Hi!

Love,

The Handsomest Weasley twin, Fred


	12. Chapter 12

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

You have some scary and disturbing ideas.

Love,

Mysterious Ministry Person, who was never mentioned and is sad because of that but is secretly glad because they read other stories and was scared.


	13. Chapter 13

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

EH? PADFOOT AND SNIVEILLOUS? GENUIS! Man, your my hero, made me fall over laughing! Great now that I got that out of the way, hem-hem, WHY DO YOU HAVE MY BEST FRIEND DATING MY WIFE! I kill you! Lils is mine, MINE!

Oh, and Snape is not Harrys father, that black mess of hair is mine.

-James Stinkin' Potter


	14. Chapter 14

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

I have to agree with James right now, ME AND SIRIUS? CRAZY, MAD PEOPLE! Oh, and I am not married to Severus, please, I repeat, I am not married to Severus, Sirius, Remus, or any other males other than my husband, James!

There is something funky with your head otherwise,

Lily Evans Potter

P.S. Last time I checked, I wasn't a Slytherin princess. Please fix that.


	15. Chapter 15

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

Why do you all hate me? I mean, I just kissed Harry because I was sad, and maybe sort of had a crush on him. I am not bawling my eyes out because Cedric died, nor I did not kill myself to be with him. Oh, and I am not dating Davy, Draco Malfoy, or some other boy. I am happily married to a muggle.

Get over it; it was a one-time thing,

Cho Chang


	16. Chapter 16

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

Oui, ze did marry Bill! Merci, for some off tu for making moi marry Bill! Oh, but ze did not marry 'Arry. Ginny did, and they 'appily have trois kids. Oh, et Gabrielle is married to a Veela and have two kids.

Bill is not a Werewolf; il just bites some things occasionally.

Chere!

Fleur


	17. Chapter 17

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

Ummm, yeah, it's me…. Your favorite Griffindor…. So thanks so much for all the praise about me when I killed Nagini, but I didn't really do much…. Oh, Hannah is calling me, I should go….

Neville Longbottom


	18. Chapter 18

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

I see the Grim in your future… Maybe that's a buffalo but I can't tell the difference in this lighting… Anyway, curse you for making fun of Divination! It's one of the best branches of Magic!

Wait, that is a Grim, sorry for your death,

Trewaley


	19. Chapter 19

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

CRUCIO! MWAHHHHH! The great Dark Lord will come back and give his revenge! MWAHHHH! I am not crazy! CRUCIO YOU MUGGLE'S AND WIZARDING WORLD!

Coming my Lord!

Still serving Voldie in Death,

Bellatrix Black-Lestrange


	20. Chapter 20

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

Dobby doesn't like how you are making fun of Harry Potter, sir! Dobby doesn't talk funny either! Harry Potter is a great human who saved Dobby and is a great person!  
Just because Dobby died doesn't mean Dobby doesn't know what's going on!

From,

Dobby


	21. Chapter 21

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

I know my name is a 'Lucius Mouthful' but you don't have to disrespect me and the grand Malfoy name! You stupid Muggle's! I would kill you but I am in Azkaban! Curse you!

How DARE you (Gets picked up and 'flown' over to them) say bad things about me?!

From,

Lucius Malfoy


	22. Chapter 22

Dear Fanfiction Writers

A mother knows what to do when their only child is almost dead and their husband is in Azkaban. I always knew that the Dark Lord was evil, but what could I do?

-Narcissa Malfoy


	23. Chapter 23

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

The Dark Lord was going to kill me! You would have switched sides also. And besides, my 'friends' always made fun of me! They were cruel! I am glad I joined the dark side-

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

-Peter 'AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!' Pettigrew


	24. Chapter 24

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

DON'T CALL MY NYMPHADORA! I can Hex you, you know that!? I love Remus and our son Teddy, I am sad I couldn't spend more time with them. I know my family is crazy. Look at Bellatrix and Sirius.

All of the Black family has weird names. I just don't embrace mine.

Tonks


	25. Chapter 25

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

AVANDA KADAVRA! How DARE you disrespect Lord Voldemort?! I am the ruler of the world! I will come back from the dead and become immortal! Just watch you filthy Muggle's!

And Harry Potter isn't my son! Seriously, I just tried to kill him!

Voldie Out, Peace!


	26. Chapter 26

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

How come you never see stories about me, eh? Well, I guess the small ones you have written are ok- ok now I am lying. (Cough, Cough) WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST INTALIANS? I am not a 'Dark Creature', my mother doesn't poison my step-fathers, and I don't have anything for the Weasley girl!

Goodness, there's a reason Purebloods stay away from Muggle's. They are completely barmy!

-Blaise Zabini, NOT ZAMBINI OR ZAMOBNI.


End file.
